Financial imbalance in relationships and why you need to talk about it

This podcast shines the light on a very interesting subject in relationships: financial imbalance. The podcast guides you in making a topic like this part of a dialogue to prevent resentment and letting it come in the way of the relationship itself instead of letting it build in to something bigger that will lead to bigger problems later in the relationship or separation.

In my practice I see people wanting to correct this imbalance later on or have discussions on who added what to the relationship and what is a fair division. 

This often becomes a source of conflict when people divorce. They want to retro actively adjust the balance to their idea of what is fair or what should have been. The outcome they seek is not always possible or even according to the law. If they cannot let go of the consequences of their choices  years ago this can impair a amicable divorce. 

So don’t wait till then. 

The point of power is when you are in a relationship and you notice the imbalance is starting to bother you.

Having an idea on shared values around money and clearity on how you both feel valued and not taken for granted are important to build a strong foundation for the future, especially when you will later on have /want to have children and income and resources might be even further apart due to a division in tasks. 

Also the suggestions on how and when to discuss these topics are very useful (with a soft start up and on a good moment).

Talking about money issues can be quit a thing. If you look for guidance as a couple I can guide you as a mediator in not only enter into a dialogue but also make agreements that will give you a frame work to deal with decisions like dividing the costs of the household and what to do when you are buying a house. I often work together with an estate planner to come to sustainable decisions that make more possible. 

For expats this can be even be more valuable as they are in a foreign country and not aware of the impact of multiple moves to several countries on their marital estate regime or of the Dutch law that might be or become applicable on their marital or partnership estate.